Time: 1846 Location: South America, somewhere along the Amazon River.
"Any news?"
"No, sir."
For six weeks, the men of Vipers Nest have waited with apprehension as to the fate of their comrades, Cobra Vipers Crouch and Akin. Tele-Viper Fintak reasoned that they lost contact due to either battery drain, electronic failure, or atmospheric interference. At the onset of this mission to locate, retrieve, and if necessary rescue Cobra Commander it was understood by all parties that losing communication was not only possible but probable. It was also understood that should the search team not reestablish communication with or arrive back at Vipers Nest by the agreed-upon deadline no search party would be sent. Crouch and Akin knew should they miss the window they would be recorded as KIA. Now, that window was closing and the strain was wearing down Lieutenant Onesi. He watched over the shoulder of Fintak as the Tele-Viper scanned all communication channels listening for any transmission signaling the survival of the two men. Staring at the screens Onesi groans to no one in particular, "I shouldn't have sent them out there. I mean Crouch sure he could have brought the B.A.T. and hell no one would miss him right. But Akin… He's our best shot…" Looking at, yet not seeing, the high-definition monitor Onesi neglects to hear the entrance of the Nest's newest resident.
"How's it going there, Lieutenant?"
Startled as he was from his thought Onesi gave no outward sign, a product of the months of training he received in Officer Candidate School. Turning Onesi looks into the eyes of one of Cobra's most dangerous and secretive operatives. A man of legend. He still couldn't get over how short he was, he had always imagined the man as larger, more imposing. The meek-looking face and small frame belittled the body count and killer instinct carried within the man but his eyes… One second they could be shining and happy, the next, their piercing blue would send shivers down the spine of even the most savage jungle panther.
________________________
Date: September 5, 2011. Time: 0600. Location: South America, somewhere along the Amazon River.
Agent X 99 arrived out of nowhere. One morning the men woke up as always. They made their way to the briefing room and there he was. No alarms had been tripped, and no warnings triggered. The night watch had had no indication that anything other than the normal evening monotony of playing computer solitaire and scanning the airwaves had taken place. Entering the room the men stopped in their tracks, a small unassuming man was wearing a sharply pressed blue pinstripe suit, pouring a cup of coffee into a black mug with a crimson Cobra emblem on it. He looked up with a smile on his face. "Good morning gentlemen. I hope you don't mind that I brewed a fresh pot. Feel free to help yourselves of course." He said carefully replacing the pot of coffee in the maker. The initial shock wore off quickly and the months of training and years of finely honed instinct took over. Each Viper looked around the conference table for whatever they could use as a weapon while preparing a coordinated attack without words. Each understood the body language and facial expressions of the others. Still smiling the mysterious man looked at Onesi, "I assure you Lieutenant Onesi that the thought of attempting to subdue me will only end in pain and suffering on your part." As he spoke the world began to blur and wobble for the Vipers. "Ah, I see the airborne toxin that was released when you opened the door is beginning to take effect. Now if you gentlemen will kindly take your seats I promise I shall not only administer the counteragent but also explain who I am and why I'm here." The world swam in and out of focus as each Viper looked at one of the multiple Lt. Onesis that were swaying to and fro in front of them. Realizing the futility of trying to resist Onesi stumbled his way to the head of the table and fell into his chair with a thud. The others followed suit, struggling to make it to their seats, Lee falling to the floor. "I thank you for your understanding gentlemen. Now if I may have your undivided attention." He took a sip of his coffee, "Unh. Hot." He mumbled to himself under his breath. "As I was saying… Viper Lee, please see to it that you take your seat sleeping on the floor is rude." Struggling to get to his feet Viper Lee pulled himself into his chair his head resting on the table. "Very good. Now gentlemen I know you have a lot of questions: Who is this man? How did he get in here? Why wasn't the alarm tripped? What toxin did he use? When will he administer the counter agent? Who is his tailor? That last one well I guess I can share. My tailor is the ever-talented William Smith of Ede & Ravenscroft, Savile Row, London of course. He uses only the most choice fabrics. Then painstakingly cuts and stitches each by hand. I see your face Lieutenant. If you have to ask you can't afford it." He takes another sip of his coffee, "Mmm, much better. Now where was I? Oh yes, that's right telling you who I am and making sure you don't die. Well, I have many names, even though I no longer know which one is the real me. I'm sure you've all heard of me at some point during your time with Cobra. See I'm somewhat of a boogie man if you will. I'm the one whose stories scare little snakelings such as yourselves into following orders. I'm the man responsible for the death of the original G.I. Joe. Yes, I killed Joe Colton many years ago. It really was glorious. Seeing the look on his face as he realized he was going to die." Just then Viper Pilot Nason crashes to the floor. "Oh, you poor thing you. Here let me help you back into your chair." The man rights the flipped-over chair and carefully lifts Nason back to his feet gingerly sitting him back down. "Really what was the commander thinking sending a pilot out here in the middle of the Amazon? Oh, that's right. But you don't know yet. In due time I guess."
"What… whathefuk… you wannntt?" This, from Lieutenant Onesi.
"Lieutenant. Language, please. Is that any way to treat a guest? But to answer your question I don't want anything. I'm here on orders from the Commander. The same orders that brought the Cobra Mortal that you have locked up in the room down the hall. The same order is bringing the other Mortals here as well as Golden Tamarin and any other operatives who can make it. You see the crimson twins, you all know Tomax and Xamot correct? Well, they are no slouches. You see they planned for any eventuality. In fact one evening they mused over how to survive just this situation. A world overrun by the living dead. They figured if they could plan a way for not only Cobra Commander but Cobra itself to survive and thrive during a zombie apocalypse, well then they could survive anything. It was the idle musing of two brothers you realize, both knew it could never really happen. They knew zombies did not exist. But what if? So they planned for this. Now that it's happened the plan is going according to well… plan. Which brings you to me, or rather brings me to you. I gentlemen, if you haven't already figured it out, I am Agent X 99."
The reputation of Agent X 99 was indeed known to all the men and women in Cobra. Some said he was Cobra Commander's son, which was the 'go-to' conspiracy surrounding all the top assassins within Cobra. Others said he was a demon spawn from Mindbender's lab, a failed attempt to create a new series of Crimson Guard. Still, some swore he was the Devil himself. He indeed killed General Joe Colton. He did so only after raping and sodomizing Colton's wife, daughter, and son in front of him. He videotaped the whole incident. It was said to be so horrific neither the Commander nor even the twisted madmen Doctors Mindbender and Venom could watch it. He was also attributed to the death of countless Cobra defectors and traitors. The death toll he was credited with ranged from hundreds to untold thousands. There was a multi-million dollar bounty on his head by every major law enforcement agency and terrorist organization in the world. Except, no one knew who he really was or what he looked like, no one except the Commander and the twins. Agent X 99 was a perverted, twisted, sociopathic murderer. He never killed for money, which he somehow had plenty of, he killed for pleasure. Each of the Vipers knew they were as good as dead. No counteragent would be administered. If Agent X 99 was here it was to purge the Nest. Knowing this Techno-Viper Kosa, pulled his sidearm barely able to flip off the safety, he lurched forward in his chair trying to get to his feet. "No no. Please Techno-Viper Kosa no need to stand." Agent X 99 steps to Kosa's side pushing him down into the chair while relieving him of his weapon. "I understand this may come as a shock. I am quite the celebrity I'm sure. But there will be plenty of time for handshakes and autographs in the coming weeks. Come to think of it this place could use a little Spring Cleaning what with Cobra Commander on his way here as we speak. In fact, he should be here in a little more than a week. You did know that correct Lieutenant? Your men are with the Commander right now, as are Tomax and Xamot, who, if my sources are correct, were promoted to Generals. Oh yes and your sniper, Sgt Akin, well he's no longer a sergeant. He's been demoted. Seems he thought it prudent to… I guess you would say 'trash talk' the Commander." As he continued to talk the Vipers' heads began to hit the table one by one. Lt Onesi fought to maintain consciousness.
"Counter… counteragent…" He mouths, barely audible.
"Counteragent? Oh, Lieutenant. You didn't really think there was one, did you. No sir. In fact…" Before Agent X 99 finished his sentence Onesi was out. Folded into the waiting arms of darkness.